Apologia – March 3, 2016

This Week: Apologia

 

At the risk of offending my dedicated fan base, I depart from my usual format today to offer some insights into and an apology for the infrequency of my much-awaited TheGlottalStop.org postings here. Many of you have asked why it isn’t updated more often. So here’s the story, and I’m sticking to it.

As anyone who’s held the position of Editor-In-Chief of a prestigious major periodical can tell you, it’s no “bowl of cherries”. Financial pressures and ever-looming deadlines make for a frenzied pace. Advertisers, printers, writers and would-be writers, graphic artists, copyeditors, not to mention subscribers—the list of those needing attention right away goes on and on. The phone rings nonstop, voicemails pile up, the mailbox fills with bills, new subscriptions, and letters to the editor, there’s a chorus of tweets, emails important and un overflow my inbox constantly, and people rush into and out of my office (not all of them mistaking it for the Men’s Room next door). Keeping it all in motion demands a truly masterful ability to juggle priorities, and leaves me with next-to-no time for other activities, even the one nearest and dearest to my heart, blogging for TheGlottalStop.org.

This is what life has been like for me since I became Editor-in-Chief of Catbox Treasures Magazine, where “We don’t just scratch the surface” isn’t just our motto; it’s our way of life. Not long ago a particularly worrisome problem cropped up that demanded a lot of time and attention. An upstart (there’s a favorite word) competitor dared to challenge the statement we printed on the cover of every issue, “Largest Circulation of Any Catbox Magazine” and threatened us with legal action.  This left us with no recourse but to change our statement to “Largest Circulation of Any Bimonthly Catbox Magazine”.

That worked for a while, but—would you believe it?—more trouble erupted with the publishers of Pet Refuse Reclamation Review (PRRR, which doesn’t even bother to mention the word “catbox” in their title!) now disputing our modified claim. Charges and counter-charges appeared on our editorial pages. When these had reached the boiling point, the legal eagles (or is it vultures? I have their bills sitting on my desk) swooped down and we were forced into arbitration. In the end, justice somehow prevailed and the final outcome vindicated our claim with but slight modifications to our original wording. We now hold title to the “Largest Circulation of Any Bimonthly Catbox Magazine West of the Rockies to the Best of Our Knowledge”. Take that, PRRR!

So now that things have settled down a bit, next time it will be back to the “favorite words” format. Unless, of course, you readers are curious about how I managed to land this plum job in the first place.


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